When I Grow Up

I will be the first to tell you my life isn’t perfect. I have so many blessings, but there are faults too. I want to share the not so great parts as well as the great parts. Which is why you’ll see pictures of my messy house on my Facebook and Instagram feed.

Now I don’t need to share the bad parts but I feel like it’s necessary. It seems as though people only share the good, the clean house, the well behaved kids. Basically a put together life. Now some people might have life all figured out and put together just so. I do not.

When I was growing up I always knew I wanted to be a mom. Other careers were thrown around like nursing. But they came and went but being a mom stuck. Fast forward to when I was going to be a mom and the thought of being a stay at home mom was so far from my mind. I wanted to work and bring income to the table. So when I had my second the decision was the same. I wanted to work. I couldn’t even think of staying home. Well after my maternity leave was over and the girls started going back to their babysitter. Something felt off. I can’t explain it but my momma bear alarms were going off. I found out some information about the babysitter and felt like it was the last straw. We had just gotten out of debt and so I quit my job and decided to stay home. A decision that was hard to come by but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Now that I’ve been staying home for almost two years I have tried many things to try to contribute to our income. Not that we need it, i just want to feel like I contribute. I’ve tried Direct Sales, but it didn’t work out. I tried photography, which I love but was too nervous to get it going. And now I’m blogging which doesn’t contribute anything but keeps me busy. So that’s a plus.

My point through all of this is that it’s ok to not know where you’re going in life and to just wing it. Because that’s what I’ve been doing. Winging it.

And as of now I have a million ideas in my head of how I can contribute. I haven’t jumped on any of them yet because they will take a lot of work. And I go back and forth between wanting to do something and raising the girls I have is contributing plenty. I told my husband today that I may figure out what I want to do with my life when I’m 85 years old, but I will figure it out.

Yup. My name is Amanda I’m 29 years old and I still don’t know what I want to do when I “grow up” and that’s okay.


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